Hunt for a Cure (1/10)
by Angus C. Devereaux and Elisa P. Black


Nick was getting desperate. Sitting in the darkness of the loft on a
dark and stormy day, he found himself thinking about his search for a
cure. Too many attempts, too many failures. He didn't want to think
about it anymore. He grabbed one of his remotes and turned on the T.V.

Cool! Scooby-Doo. He had enjoyed the show ever since its creation,
and had tried equally long to copy Scooby's laugh. This brought on a
flashback to a few years ago, maybe ten.

***

Janette stormed into the living room in a black knightie.

"Nicola! For goodness sake, what is that terrible sound? It's 8AM,
I'm trying to sleep and so is LaCroix! You don't want to wake him up
after he was so angry with you last night, do you?"

As Nick looked at her with puppy dog eyes, an even worse attempt at
the same sound came from the dark corner that Janette couldn't see
from the doorway. He could see confusion spread across her face as she
recognized the voice.

"LaCroix, is that you?" She stepped further into the room, apparently
not seeing that the T.V. was on and getting in Nick's way.

He spoke timidly and sort of pointed. "Umm, Janette, could you...?"

At the same time LaCroix roared with laughter and said heartily,
"Janette, you're up. Please join us. Nick has introduced me to the
most wonderful show. Scooby-Doo. Scooby is so funny!" He broke off into
laughter.

Janette stared at them disbelievingly. Shaking her head, she declared,
"I'm going to bed."

She was storming out when both Nick and LaCroix tried once more to
imitate Scooby's laugh. She turned back and stared daggers at them,
hushing their laughter.

"No more of that."

They knew better than to disobey her as she left.

***

Nick found himself back in the present watching one of those trashy
psychic commercials. He sighed; all this and he still hadn't
forgotten what he'd been thinking about earlier. At the end of the
commercial the sexy announcer in lingerie said, "Call now and make all
your dreams come true. Children under 18, don't ask your parents'
permission before calling."

Nick made up his mind and turned off the T.V. He had to do something
to help his search or at least pretend to. Picking up the phone, he
called the psychic hotline which went for a mere 10 dollars per
minute. When the phone was answered before the first ring, he heard a
low, cultured man's voice say, "Go to Chinatown. Ask for Caine. He
will help you."

A click. Then, "Excuse me, I have another call."

He was put on hold with music from B101.1 FM. The message itself was
strange, but Nick was shocked to realize that the voice was LaCroix'.
He waited impatiently for hours until the music stopped and LaCroix
got back on saying, "In Chicago," then hanging up. Nick held the
receiver away and looked at it, dumbfounded.

Well thank god its Easter vacation, he thought, calling up Natalie
and asking, "You want to go to Chicago this weekend?"

Nat, sounding tired, said, "Sure," and hung up.

"Well that's settled," Nick said to himself, whistling aimlessly and
trying to find something to take up the last two hours before
sundown. Good thing he'd collected so many interesting things over the
years. He brought out the rocker, bonnet, and needlework he'd taken
from one of his victims. He could still remember LaCroix' approval and
Janette's disgust as he'd dragged the items home. He put on the
bonnet, the pattern of which looked suspiciously like the moose or
reindeer from Schanke's pajamas, and set to work finishing the
booties. He was done after half an hour and spent the rest of the time
rocking and twiddling his thumbs.

As soon as he felt the day was done, he flew over to CERK with some
questions. He walked into the booth to find LaCroix playing hopscotch
with Divia while Barney's "I Love You" song played in the background.
He ignored her and spoke to his master, "LaCroix, what were you doing
with the Psychic Connex hotline?"

His father looked at him reproachfully. "Shh, not while I'm jumping."

Nick waited patiently until he was done. LaCroix then said, "You mean
you called?"

As his son nodded, LaCroix blushed fiercely. "I, umm, ...Well you
know how I was telling you way back when that we didn't need material
things like money...?" Nick nodded. "Well, I, um,... I'm behind on the
mortgage. And, um, I like the commercial." He glanced sideways at
Divia and winked at Nick.

Nick looked at him incredulously and exasperatedly. "Well why didn't
you just tell me? I mean, all you ask of me is to be what I am and to
respect you as a father. Here," he pulled out a checkbook, "here's a
million dollars. And, um, I like the commercial too." He winked.

They both grinned like fools until Divia, shaking her head, turned up
the Barney. Nick, wincing, said, "I have to go now."

LaCroix replied sourly, " I've been listening to this for hours now.
But thank you for the money."

"Oh, by the way, pop, what did you mean by 'Go to Chinatown. Ask for
Caine. He will help you?' Whose Caine? Why did you say that?"

"Well, Nicholas, at Psychic Connex we have two messages: that and 'Go
see Mr. Lee at the Laundromat.' As psychics, we know which one to
use."

"Oh, see ya."

As Nick left, he heard his father say, "Divia, have you ever
considered Scooby-Doo?"


End Part 1

--

Hunt for a Cure (2/10)
by Angus C. Devereaux and Elisa P. Black


As Nick headed for Natalie's, he called the airport and reserved two
first class tickets to Chicago. Then as he started to knock on her
door, it swung open and Nat stood there in a, wow, ...white and blue
pantsuit.

"We have to stop by Captain Cohen's to drop off Sydney; the Schankes'
are going somewhere and so is Grace."

"Sure, where does she live?" asked Nick as he picked up her two
oversized and overstuffed suitcases which would have been heavy for a
normal man. "Nat, I don't think the Caddy can hold all this."

He popped open the trunk and put one of the cases in. It almost
flipped the car over. "Oh," said Nat, "well forget the 2nd one."

They drove to the address that Nat had been given and found a
dilapidated old brownstone with hookers lining the street. Some of
them were actually pretty and they swarmed around Nick, but he only
had eyes for Nat. After Sydney was dropped off and they were speeding
away, Nat could swear it was Cohen who she saw coming out of the
building in fishnet stockings and a French maid outfit. She shook her
head sadly. Poor Amanda, she'd never be able to get customers in that.

Nick had turned on the radio which was forever on CERK. To Nat's
surprise, LaCroix wasn't talking as usual, but was singing along to
Barney with a little girl. Every now and then, he emitted a noise
which sounded suspiciously like Scooby Doo's laugh and then there was
the sound of a smack. LaCroix would say Ow! and sing again.
Thankfully, they reached the airport before LaCroix could play the
Power Rangers theme.

They barely made it to the gate on time and spent the flight watching
a movie called Nick Knight whose situation sounded a lot like theirs.
With a few hours left before dawn, they rented a car and drove to
Chinatown.

"What are we doing here, Nick?"

"I was told to see someone." He leaned over to kiss her. She was so
sweet and warm and full of life; he just had to find the cure.

Loud gunshots rang out all around them, and a bullet shattered the
driver's side window. Nick slowed the car next to a parked Volkswagon
and asked the thug hiding behind it if he knew where a Caine was.

"Sure. Two blocks down, turn right, on the corner."

"Hey, thanks."

"Yeah, no problem, bud."

They screeched away and soon found themselves being greeted by a man
who actually seemed almost as ancient as Nick. He gave them a big
smile and said, in accented English, "We have been expecting you. I am
the Ancient. Please come inside. Caine will be here soon."

As they followed the toddling man into a sparsely furnished room,
Nick asked, "How did you know we were coming?"

The little man beamed. "Shimbala." (* Or however that's spelled. )

The other two went, "Oh."

Then Nat had a question. "Do you have a real name or is it the
Ancient?"

"Uh," he blushed, "You wouldn't want to have my real name to
pronounce."

"Oh."

They sat in silence for a minute, and then the Ancient turned to
Nick.

"Arm wrestle?"

"Are you kidding? Do you know what I am?"

"Yes, of course. You are a vampire. Would you please indulge an old
man?"

Nat was the referee as the two men got into position. At her "Go,"
they began. Nick found himself having to give it his best. Soon he was
jumping on the table and using all of his weight, but the
frail-looking arm would not budge. Luckily, Nat didn't know that he
wasn't acting.

Suddenly the old man looked toward the door. "Ah, Caine is here."

LaCroix walked in. Nat looked at the Ancient and he shrugged. "Even
we Shimbala masters can be mistaken."

"Nicholas, Nicholas, Nicholas. What are you doing? Allow me." LaCroix
brushed the now beet-red vampire aside and took his place.

"OOMPPHHH!" LaCroix found himself on the floor with the breath
knocked out of him.

Someone else walked in the room. The Ancient cried out excitedly,
"Caine! Vampires have chi!"

Caine smiled in amusement and came up to Nick. "Nicholas de Brabant,
I am Caine. I will help you." Then looking out the window, he said,
"There is nothing we can do tonight. Come back tomorrow. Peter will be
here then. He is my son."

Nick and Nat left to go to a hotel and the Ancient and Caine went to
another room, leaving LaCroix to stare bug-eyed at the ceiling.

***

At the crack of dusk, Nick and Nat headed back. The Ancient let them
in. "Caine is getting Peter. Here, you must drink this before we
begin."

As Nick reached for the little clear vial of liquid, the old man
pulled it away. Then to himself, the Ancient said, "I think it was
this one. Or maybe this one. No, this one. This one."

He gave Nick a different bottle. The vampire dropped it like a hot
coal and hissed.

"Oops, that is the holy water. It's this one."

Nick took the other bottle, uncapped it and sniffed in distaste.

"What is it?"

"Ginseng tea."

Nick sipped, then gulped. "Not bad."

Nat was perplexed and was about to say so when the door opened,
admitting Caine and a pleasant-looking, tall man. Caine introduced.

"Nicholas Knight, Dr. Natalie Lambert, this is Peter."

They acknowledged each other. Then Caine looked at Nat. "Have we met
before?"

"Um, I don't think so."

"Curious."

Peter broke in. "Maybe your ancestors met each other and it was
passed on through genetic memory."

Everyone stared at him.

"I saw it on the X-Files."

Caine spoke. "Legend has it that there is a temple where cures for
all diseases were made. Also made were cures for vampirism and the
like. Those who kept the temple were forced to hide it from invaders,
and knowing they would never be able to return to it, left clues for
future generations to find it. Several have tried but their searches
ended in death. Except for the Mighty One, but he was also not the
right one and so he has given us a head start on finding clues. I have
been given, among other things, a scroll which prophesizes that in
1995 AD, a man named Caine and a vampire made in 1228 named Nicholas
de Brabant will be the ones. This Nicholas will have a destined mate
who may or may not be one who is with him on the search, but she will
be the only one who recognizes the cure."

"Wow, Pop! All in one breath, you gotta teach me how to do that. And
what am I doing here?" asked Pete.

"We must have a party of seven."

"So where are the other two?"

At that moment, LaCroix got up from the floor. "Didn't anyone notice
I was here?"

And Janette flew in. "Nicola, what is going on here?"

"We now have our seven."


End Part 2

--

Hunt for a Cure (3/10)
by Angus C. Devereaux and Elisa P. Black


"So what's our first clue?" asked Nick.

Caine turned to Peter, "Give me your wallet, son."

"Why?"

"You will see."  Pete gave his wallet to his dad.

Caine opened it and pulled out Pete's badge.  Stuck to the back of
the badge was a piece of paper.  "This --", he said, taking out the
paper and giving the wallet and badge back to his son,"is out first
clue."

Pete asked, "How did that paper get in my wallet and how come I never
saw it there before?"

Caine shrugged, "You never looked."

"Well, what does it say?" asked LaCroix impatiently.

"It says: Take the portal at Bambi's Beauty Parlor."

"What does that mean?" Janette inquired.

"It means we must find the capbearer so we can use the portal."

"And how do we find this capbearer?"

"The Ancient said, "Like this," and he and Caine swirled their arms
through the air.  A mist appeared around the group.  When the mist
cleared up, they found themselves outside a house.  "This is the house
of the capbearer," explained Caine.

"How did we get here?" LaCroix asked.

Both the Ancient and Caine replied at the same time: "Shimbala."

"You gotta teach me how to do that pop," said Pete.

Caine smiled, "I'll put it on the list."

The door suddenly opened to reveal a boy with a red cap.

"Yes, may I help you?"

"Yes, capbearer.  We need to take the portal at Bambi's Beauty
Parlor."

"Oh.  Let me get Virge and Normy and we'll be right with you."

Moments later, the Mighty One reappeared with what looked like a
talking chicken and a huge warrior.

Norman saw LaCroix and growled.  LaCroix growled back.  Norman
growled louder.  LaCroix growled louder.  Norman took out his sword
and growled even louder and more menacingly.  LaCroix took out his
fangs, put them on and hissed, eyes turning yellow.

Virgil interrupted, "Now, if you two are quite done, we have work to
do." He turned towards Caine, "Now which portal did you need?"

"The one at Bambi's Beauty Parlor."

"Ah yes.  Let me see," Virgil pulled out a scroll from his sleeve.
"Oh, OK. Let's go."

The group, upon arriving at their destination, entered it and was met
by the sight of scantily-clad female workers and customers and by the
pleasant aromas of styling products.  Norman growled in appreciation
while the Ancient wolf-whistled.

"This way," said Virgil, after consulting his scrolls again.  The
group followed him to the back of the place.  As Nick, LaCroix,
Norman, Caine, Pete, and the Ancient passed by, some of the women
said, "Nice buns."  The Ancient turned around and said, "Thank you
very much. And you have great legs."  As the women swooned, Virgil
finally led them to the portal and they stepped through.

***

They found themselves nearly crowded in an ancient Egyptian tomb with
the typical hieroglyphics on the walls and treasures all around.

"Kinda stale in here," Pete remarked.

"Yes," Virgil responded. "This appears to be an undiscovered tomb."

"No," Janette spoke. "It is because *someone* in here does not
believe in bathing and hasn't done so in a *long* time."  She glared
accusingly at LaCroix and harrumphed as he said, "My dear Janette, I
do not bathe because I do not need to. Vampires do *not* smell."

Norman growled and glanced at Mighty Max, "Mighty One, want me to
kill him?"

"Nah, he has to be part of the quest."

"Darn."

"LaCroix growled menacingly, "Don't mess with me.  I haven't fed
since two nights ago."

Meanwhile, Nat had found an old papyrus scroll.  "Could this be a
clue?"

Virgil took it and read aloud, "Burn the incense," Caine lit a jar of
incense with a flick of his hand, "and shave off the beard of an old
man."

The Ancient, who was pretending to study the statue of a
scantily-clad woman but was really looking at Janette, turned and
gasped in horror as Norman and LaCroix advanced on him.  "Stay back!
I will fight to the death for my beard!"  He took a karate stance and
let out a battle cry.

LaCroix sneered, "What can you do?  Wait a minute, that didn't sound
quite right.  It is because of you I could not feed last night.  Oh
well. I *will* drink tonight."

"Oh?  Look into my eyes.  You are getting ..."

LaCroix fell backwards like a tree and Norman rushed over him,
pulling out his sword.  "Come on, old man, I got the razor right
here."

They were rushing to butt heads with each other when Caine said,
"Stop. I do not believe it is his beard we must shave.  I believe it
is *his*." He pointed at a 12 foot tall goat coming towards them.

"That is a *big* goat," Norman rushed at it with his sword, but the
goat kicked the sword away.  As it flew high in the air, Virgil made
calculations.

"Someone knock it back...  now!"

Pete drew his trusty gun and fired at the sword.

"Oh dear," said Virgil, "I didn't calculate for a bullet."

Instead of chopping the goat's beard, the sword got stuck in LaCroix'
crotch.

Caine spoke, "Notice that the goat does not act unless we do.  Maybe
instead of fighting it, we should appease it."

"Ahh, yes," said the Ancient. "Come, Peter.  Let us do the Dance of
Joy."

"Perfect Strangers, right?"

The Ancient nodded vigorously and took on the part of Larry Appleton
as they danced.

The goat tapped it's foot angrily and impatiently.

Janette shook her head and sighed, "I'll take care of this."

She flew up and kissed the goat on the cheek.  It blushed furiously
until it turned crimson and lay down in front of her, thrusting out
its chin to be shaved.  Mighty Max handed her a pocket knife and she
shaved off the beard, handing the mass of hair to Caine.  He threw the
hair down on top of the sarcophagus and read the message that
appeared: "Take the portal. Then Up 2, Down 3, Left 2, Right.  Then
see Mighty One's clue."

"All right, where's the portal?" asked Nick.

Virgil seemed embarrassed, "Unfortunately, I don't even know where we
are exactly."

"I believe the hairs also make an arrow."  Caine pointed towards the
goat.

"Uh, I don't know about this.  I mean, that thing is huge."  Mighty
Max put in.

Norman asked, "Mighty One, want me to move it?"

"Well, we might not have to move the goat.  Maybe the portal's in
front of it."  He ran around in front of the goat.  "Guess not."

Janette sighed while slinging LaCroix' still form over her shoulder.
"Let me move it."

They found the portal and jumped through.


End Part 3

--

Hunt for a Cure (4/10)
by Angus C. Devereaux and Elisa P. Black


They found themselves on a floor of big tiles.  It wasn't hard to
figure out that the numbers in the clue meant the tiles.  They were
soon standing side by side in front of a gaping abyss.

Max dropped in a marble.  Even Janette and Nick couldn't hear it hit
bottom.  Max then pulled out a slip of paper, "Clue #4: Jump."

"Whoa!" Pete exclaimed. "Down there?"

"LaCroix can go," Janette said in clipped tones. "He's starting to
drool."

"Wait," said Norman.  He retrieved his sword.

Janette tossed the body over.  After a minute or so, they heard an
echoing scream.

"Maybe we should just move down there," the Ancient suggested,
starting to wave his arms.

"No," said Caine.  "We must follow the directions."

They jumped with Virgil's scream joining LaCroix's and landed on
something soft and bouncy like a mattress.  LaCroix was nowhere to be
seen but there was a large pin stuck in the side of the mattress with
a black thread hanging on it.

"It must have caught his clothing as he fell," Virgil speculated.

Nick tugged on it. "There's nothing here."  He turned to the
embroidery on what looked to be a large pillow:

        "60 degrees Northwest of this bed, Look for the lady who
dresses in red. Pat the little girl and look up to see, In the hand of
a friend, a fortune cookie. Crack it, don't eat it. The fortune, you
read it. This for the vampire who for a cure seeks, But don't forget
the fallen one who reeks. Through a portal to the right you all must
proceed, But not until the end of this poem you read. When you
thirteen go, have faith and be bold, Then follow the clue the Guardian
holds."

Norman looked confused. "Clue?  I don't have a clue.  And this is a
*big* bed."

A moment later, LaCroix's scream which had momentarily died out,
became renewed and grew louder every second.  He eventually popped up
into their view, shirtless and very angry.

"For God's sake," said Janette, wincing at the sight of his scrawny
chest, "Take my cape."

"Someone will pay for this.  And this," he pointed at his crotch.
Then he turned red remembering his exposed chest and put on the cape.

They proceeded to the portal...

***

And found themselves in the middle of a crowded and noisy Chinese
restaurant.  Directly in front of them was a table laden with empty
plates at which was sitting a lady in red.

"Myra?" asked Nat.

The woman looked up.  "Natalie! What are you doing here?  I thought
you were staying home for Easter.  And who are your friends?"

Also at the table were a dark-haired little girl and Schanke.  "Hey,
Nick, Nat, whatcha doing here?  Come join us." the latter said
heartily.

The little girl was pointing at Virgil. "Big chicken.  Look daddy, a
big chicken!"

"Fowl, actually," responded the bird automatically.

Nick stepped forward. "Hello, my name is Nick Knight.  I work with
your husband.  He's told me a lot about you, Mrs. Schanke."

"Pleasure to meet you.  I've heard a lot about you.  And please call
me Myra."

"All right, Myra." He turned to the girl. "And you must be Jenny."

"Hi!"

He patted her on the head and looked up to see Schanke holding a
fortune cookie.

The Schankes were paying attention to Nat, who was introducing
everyone so Nick said hurriedly, "You wouldn't mind if I borrow this,
would you?" while slipping the cookie out of Schanke's hand.

He cracked it and pulled out the fortune: 'A red door opens on the
road to the stars.  Find the next clue by rubbing on his head.'

Everyone looked at him.  Schanke asked, "Whatcha say, Nick?"

Caine pointed towards a misty red door which appeared out of nowhere.
As the original ten in the group headed for it, the three Schankes
looked very confused.  Then Schanke realized his fortune cookie was
gone.  He spotted it in Nick's hand as the blonde man was stepping
through.

"Hey, Nick!  My cookie! Give me back my fortune cookie!  Nick! It's
my fortune!  Nick!"

He went after his partner and Jenny went after her daddy.

"Wait, daddy.  Where ya going?"

Myra went after Jenny. "Jenny, come back here!"

And the misty door disappeared from the view of the confused diners
and angry waiter.

***

They found themselves floating in a limbo of nothingness.  Nick gave
Schanke the fortune cookie, which was eaten promptly without regard
to the fortune.  Jenny, Natalie, LaCroix, Virgil, Max, Pete, Norman,
and the Ancient were having the time of their lives.  Jenny saw
something shiny and picked up a neat little pin.  The rest were trying
to figure out what to do.

Finally Max came up with something.  "We know Normy's got the next
clue. So I guess we have to rub his head."

"Oh. Duh!" exclaimed Caine, slapping himself in the forehead.

"Come here, Normy," said Max.

Max grabbed Normy and rubbed the warrior's head with his fist.
"Noogie!"

A paper fell into the Mighty One's hand. "Ya really oughta wash your
hair more, Normy." He quipped.  The unrolling the paper, "Use the
trinket found by the girl.  Press it and say '13 to beam up.'"


End Part 4

--

Note: As some of you may have guessed from the end of part 4, Star
Trek is coming into the picture.  Those who follow Star Trek, please
note that this takes place after the final episode of ST:The Next
Generation and before the Star Trek:Generations movie. Also takes
place before the current season of ST:Deep Space Nine.

Hunt for a Cure (5/10)
by Angus C. Devereaux and Elisa P. Black


"Transporter Room 3 to the bridge."

Captain Jean-Luc Picard gave Riker a puzzled look.  Riker shrugged.

"Bridge here."

"Sir, we just received a transmission saying to beam up 13 people."

"Where did this transmission originate?"

"Unknown, sir.  But the signal matches the normal comm badge
wavelength."

"Could be a trap," said Riker.

"Or it could be Federation officers in need of assistance," mused
Picard. "Just in case,...". He turned his head.  "Mr. Worf, I want
you to set up a security field around Cargo Bay 3 and station security
personnel both inside and outside the cargo bay."

"Aye, sir," Worf answered and went to the turbolift.

"Picard to Transporter Room 3."

"Transporter Room 3 here."

"I want you to transport the 13 people directly to Cargo Bay 3 on
Lieutenant Worf's command."

"Yes, sir."

Worf tapped his comm badge when he finished stationing the security
measures, "Transporter Room 3: Energize."

Thirteen shimmering columns of light coalesced into solid forms.

"Where are we?  How did we get here?" Pete asked, looking at his dad.

Caine shrugged, "I do not know."

Norman saw Worf and thought, "What kind of ugly creature is that?"

He growled.  Worf growled back.  Norman drew out his sword and
advanced. Worf drew out his phaser and did the same.

"Mr. Worf, report."

"There are 12 that are humanoid in appearance and one that resembles
a big chicken."

"Fowl, actually," corrected Virgil.

"One of the humans has drawn out a weapon and appears quite hostile."

"Don't do anything to them, Lieutenant.  I'll be right there."

Moments later, Captain Picard, Commander Riker, Counselor Troi, and
Doctor Crusher entered the cargo bay.

"I am Captain Picard of the Federation starship Enterprise."

Caine stepped forward, "I am Caine.  I will help you."  He slapped
his forehead. "Sorry, force of habit."

Pointing to each person in turn, he said, "This is my son Peter,
Nicholas Knight, Natalie Lambert, Janette DuCharme, Lucien LaCroix,
Donald Schanke, his wife Myra, his daughter Jenny, Mighty Max, Virgil,
Norman, and this man here is the Ancient."

Riker snickered.  Picard gave him a stern look and said, "Where did
you from? Where did you get that comm badge?"

Schanke said, "I'm hungry.  You got anything to eat?"

Picard, said, "Why don't I set you up in quarters so you can relax,
freshen up, and eat before we discuss anything?"

The group agreed readily.  They were all tired and hungry.

Picard assigned security personnel to escort the groups to the
quarters that were available for guests.

***

As the security officer who had escorted the Schankes to their room
was leaving, Schanke asked, "Where can I get some food?"

"Use the replicator."

"The what?"

"The replicator, it's over there."

"How do I work it?"

"Ask it for anything you want."

"Just like that?"

"Yes."

"Cool."

Schanke went to the replicator and said, "A pizza with the works."

The computer said, "Please define 'the works'."

"Pepperoni, sausage, bacon, mushrooms, peppers, onions, garlic, and
extra cheese."

The pizza materialized in the replicator tray and Schanke, saying,
"Man, oh man." began eating.

Jenny was running around saying, "Cool.  Neato.  This is just like on
T.V."

"What is?" asked Myra.

"This starship and its crew."

Jenny's face then lit up.  "Data!  I wanna see Data!."

"Who is he?" Schanke asked between mouthfuls of pizza.

"A cool android and he's third in command of this ship."  She tilted
her head towards the ceiling and said, "Computer:", then smiled in
satisfaction at the noise of the computer getting ready, "Where is
Lt. Commander Data?"

"Lt. Commander Data is in Engineering," replied the soft, sultry
voice of the computer.

"Mom, can I go see Data?"

"Sure, honey."

"Have fun," Schanke told her as she left.

Myra turned to her husband, "I want to go explore.  Want to come with
me?"

"Let me finish this last slice of pizza and I'll be right with you."

***

"Sir, do you mind?"

The security officer pushed LaCroix off of her again.  He had been
slumped against her for most of the trip to his quarters.  He was
likely very tired. What she didn't know was that he was hungry and
weak for blood.  Even though he could take her right there, he didn't
dare risk it on this ship, considering the security and other stuff.
So he quelled his rising hunger and contented himself with the warmth
of the security officer's body and the alluring proximity of her
femininity.

***

Janette found the Klingon strangely enticing and couldn't help
rubbing his arm and purring.  Worf found it erotic and growled softly.
Janette growled in response and Worf growled more loudly.  Suddenly he
stopped as he realized what was happening. As they neared what was to
be her room she couldn't help feeling regret as to what this manly
hunk of a beast would have been like.


End Part 5

--

Hunt for a Cure (6/10)
by Angus C. Devereaux and Elisa P. Black


Peter, Caine, and the Ancient couldn't help looking at the curves on
their female guide.  However, they kept their distance because she
was one of the highly trained security personnel and had a deadly
looking weapon attached to her deadly curves.

Upon reaching their room, the guide turned and said to the Ancient,
"You're kinda cute.", then left.  Pete nudged him with his elbow and
said, "Way to go. She's a hot one.".  Caine agreed and went off to
meditate. Pete went to bed, leaving the Ancient to his daydreams.

***

Virgil, Norman, and Mighty Max were following their guide past a
turbolift when the doors slid open and someone stepped out.  The
person saw Virgil and said, "Wow! A talking chicken!"

"Fowl, actually," said Virgil, sounding like a broken record.

The person was not distracted by this.  "Hey, can I study you?"

"Absolutely not."

"Awww. Hey! Nice Cap! Can I try it on?"

"No way, man!  Get your own."

Norman put his hand on his sword, ready to pull it out, "Want me to
kill him?"

"That would not be advisable, Norman," Virgil responded, "We are
guests here and I don't think out hosts would be too happy if we
killed one of their crew."

"Awww," moaned Norman, "I never get to have fun anymore."

"There'll be plenty of time for that later."

The person spoke up, "Hey, can I visit you later?"

All three responded at the same time, "No!!"

"O.K.  I understand that you'll probably be busy but when you get
time come visit me.  By the way, my name is Wesley."

As he left, Mighty Max said, "Whew!  I thought we'd never get rid of
him."

Norman said, looking at Virgil while he did so, "We could have gotten
rid of him faster if you'd let me use my sword."  He was clearly
miffed.

Max said, "It's OK, Normy.  Here, have a lollipop."

"Oh, cool."

Norman ripped off the wrapper and sucked happily on the lollipop
while Virgil told Max another Lemurian (sp?) folk tale.

***

"Data to Captain Picard," intoned the comm badge perched stoutly on
the chest of the captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701-D.

"Picard here.  What is it, Mr. Data?"

Picard and Riker could hear the unmistakable laughter of Lt.
Commander Geordi LaForge as Data said, "Sir, there is a young human
girl attached to my leg.  She is one of the party of 13 who arrived
earlier today. Apparently she is very fond of me."

Riker couldn't help grinning.  Picard said, "Um...uh, well done Data.
Keeping our guests happy is a top priority."

"Thank you, sir.  I will do my best."

***

LaForge was short of breath form laughing too much. "Aw, Data, you
should have seen your face when she came running in yelling, 'Data!
Data!' and wrapped herself around your leg.  That was so funny!"  He
chuckled as Jenny climbed up onto Data's lap and hugged him.

***

LaCroix was passed out on the bed in his quarters when Janette came
into the room.

"LaCroix!  Wake up!  There is something you have to see."

"What is it, Janette?  Is it so important that you have to wake me
up?"

"Tu as faim, n'est pas?"

"Yes, what are you saying?"

"You can feed."

"My dear Janette, have you noticed where we are?  We can't just
simply feed here."

"Yes we can.  The technology on this ship is incredible.  We will be
able to feed."

"How?"

"Come with me, LaCroix."

Moments later, Janette led LaCroix to Holodeck 2.  LaCroix remarked
disbelievingly, "This is just a room with black walls and yellow
grids."

"Do you know the flashbacks our kind goes through?"

"Yes, it seems as if we are reliving it.  It is so real."

"Well, we can actually relive it in this room."

"She demonstrated by giving the computer a few commands which turned
the room into one of her favorite flashbacks.

LaCroix, amazed, watched as Janette slowly sank her fangs into the
young man's neck and drank the sweet blood.  Blood that he could
smell. The blood pumped by the heart that he could hear weakening.
It was just as he remembered it.

"But how?  How is this possible?"

"This room can convert energy into matter and back again.  Energy and
matter are virtually the same thing."

"So we can feed ourselves without actually killing a crew member of
this ship?"

"That's what I've been telling you!"

"What do I do?"

"Just tell the computer time and place and what you want there."

LaCroix was elated.  There had been a certain flashback that he loved
having and now he was going to get the chance to actually relive it.

He sighed as he sank his fangs into the soft, creamy neck of the
female who was backstage.  It was better than he remembered it.  His
strength returned as he indulged himself in the rarest wine.  Soon he
was giddy and moved on to the next victim.  After this, he went to
relive his most favorite part of this flashback.

As the curtain opened, he lined himself up with the rest of the
performers. And right on cue he danced along with the rest of the
women. Ah yes, he thought as he kicked his legs high into the air,
this was truly the most wonderful time I've ever had.  These can-can
dancers sure know how to have fun.
La-lalala-la-lala-lalala-la-lala-lalala-lala...

Janette sat in the audience and stared at her happily dancing master.
This was his favorite moment?  The one he had the most flashbacks of?
And she thought Nicholas was insane.  Oh well.  It was kind of amusing
how his lanky figure was doing the can-can in perfect synchrony with
the other dancers.  She chuckled as LaCroix's pants ripped with the
effort he put into the dance.  She fell to the floor, rolling with
laughter, when she saw the design on LaCroix's underwear with her
vampiric vision.

It was that of bunnies in a field of flowers.


End Part 6

--

Hunt for a Cure (7/10)
by Angus C. Devereaux and Elisa P. Black


"Captain's Log: Supplemental, Stardate 47995.8.  Since the arrival of
the 13 'guests', I have been told by Detective Knight, Doctor
Lambert, and Caine, how they came to be on my ship.  I wasn't
surprised by the absurdity of their story as my crew and I have been
in stranger situations.  I agreed to let them stay as long as they
needed to and to help them find their next clue.  I also informed them
that we were headed for the space station Deep Space Nine, where the
Enterprise was to dock for a few days in preparation for assisting the
Defiant on a mission in the Gamma Quadrant."

"Our ETA, Mr. Data?" Riker asked, trying to hold back his smile at
the sight of Jenny standing behind Data at Ops with her arms around
his neck.

"1 hr, 37 minutes."

"Send a message to Deep Space Nine and tell them of our impending
arrival."

"Aye, sir."

***

"Man, oh man!  This is just like being in Hawaii.  Man, oh man, oh
man! Who would have thought that virtual reality would make it this
far?"

Myra agreed, "I wish we could stay on this ship forever."

"Yeah, me too.  I'll bet Jenny does also.  She loves that Data guy.
What kind of a name is that anyway?  And did you see how pale he was?
Sorta like Nick... Hey! Do you think they have the same skin
condition? Man, oh man. Being allergic to the sun.  Kind of makes me
feel sorry that they can't enjoy the sun like we can."

As soon as Worf got off duty, he went to his quarters to check up on
Alexander.  After he made sure his son was asleep and safe, he headed
for the nearest holodeck.  Along the way he saw the one they called
the Ancient practicing what appeared very similar to Klingon
meditation.  The Ancient saw him and said, "Hello.  I hope I am not
bothering you."

"No, you are not.  May I ask what you are doing?"

"T'ai chi."

"I have heard of it but I have never seen anyone actually doing it."

"It is very good for balancing the chi."

"So is Klingon meditation."

"Can you teach me that?"

"Sure, if you teach me t'ai chi."

"Agreed."

They entered the holodeck and Worf began with a maneuver which looked
suspiciously like a lethal karate chop and it was aimed at the
Ancient. The Ancient expertly raised a frail looking bony arm which
blocked Worf's huge meaty arm.

Worf felt as if he had hit a pulsating warp core.

"You are strong."

"So are you.  What did you think you were trying to do?"

"I was beginning my meditation."

"Really?  I have much to learn.  And to explain, my action was a
standard t'ai chi maneuver."

"Interesting.  I have noticed that Klingon meditation and several
forms of martial arts are effective in canceling each other out."

"You know some of the martial arts?"

"Counselor Troi has taught me some in return for learning Klingon
meditation."

"She's a hot babe, isn't she?  And that cleavage.  Just marvelous."

Worf growled, "We are currently dating."

"Oh, sorry.  I didn't know."  He winked, "Lucky you."

"Klingons do not believe in luck!"

"Oh, sorry," the Ancient grinned sheepishly.

"Apology accepted.  Now let us continue."

After two hours, Worf said, "Let us continue this activity another
time."

The Ancient replied, "Tiring you out, aren't I?"  There was a gleam
in his eye and he was jumping around like a boxer ready to knock down
his opponent.

"No, I have bridge duty."

"Oh, OK.  Later then and thank you."

"A pleasure.  We will do this again soon."

"I'll be looking forward to it."

***

About half an hour before the Enterprise was to dock at Deep Space
Nine, the group of 13 had a meeting in the conference room to discuss
what they should do next.

"Well we know that there has to be another clue," said Peter.

"Yes, but where is it?" Nat asked.

"Perhaps it's at this Deep Space Nine station," said Nick.

"Or maybe one of us has it.  I mean the last few clues were found on
our person," Max pointed out.

They all got up and checked inside pockets, sleeves, collars, etc.

"Anything?" asked Nick.

"No," was the general consensus.

"What about LaCroix?" Nat asked.

They all looked at the figure slumped on the table.  When LaCroix had
arrived and sat down he had immediately fell onto the table.  His
left cheek was pressed against the table and his arms were splayed out
in front of him. There was now a puddle of blood drool on the table
next to his face.


End Part 7

--

Hunt for a Cure (7.5/10)
by Angus C. Devereaux and Elisa P. Black


"What's wrong with him?" asked Jenny.

Janette answered, "He was reliving flashback after flashback in the
holodeck and got himself drunk on blood."

"Blood?" asked Schanke.

"Bloody Mary," Nick replied quickly.

"Oh."

At that moment, LaCroix stirred.  Everyone watched as his head came
up and then went back down so that his other cheek was on the table,
actually, he landed in the blood drool.

"Eww, gross," said Jenny.

Janette hoisted LaCroix up by the arms and Nick went through his
pockets. "Lint, breath mints, several sword pins, some more lint,...,
what's this?" He held up a piece of paper.  It read:

              To the one who seeks a mystic cure, First give your
master a Breath-a-Sure Then 246 mark 714 And you will get to what
you're looking for.

"What does that mean?" asked Norman.

Jenny piped in, "Hey! Those numbers sound like coordinates."

"Coordinates?  Coordinates for what?" asked Schanke, "And what is
this cure that you're searching for?"

"It's a cure, um, for my allergy."

"Oh, o.k.  I hope there is a cure.  You don't know what you're
missing being allergic to the sun."

Jenny asked the computer, "Where do the coordinates 246 mark 714 lead
to?"

The computer replied, "Deep Space Nine."

"Hey, that's where we're headed!" exclaimed the Mighty One.

"So I guess the next clue is there," said Nick.

Suddenly the intercom beeped:

"This is the captain speaking.  We are now in the process of docking
at Deep Space Nine.  All crew members and guests are welcome to shore
leave aboard the station.  However, all crew members must report back
to duty in two days.  Thank you for flying Federation Spacelines.  We
hope you've enjoyed the flight."

***

The next hour was spent exploring DS9.  Jenny got to see her favorite
people, namely Commander Sisko, Jadzia Dax, Miles O'Brien, Constable
Odo, Rom, and Doctor Bashir.  However, their exploration was not
entirely enjoyable.  They were given a hard time by Major Kira, as was
the case for anyone unfortunate enough to cross her path.  Norman
offered to kill her, as did LaCroix, but of course they were
dissuaded.

As Sisko was giving Jenny a piggy back ride, Dax turned around and
said, "I'm getting anomalous readings from the wormhole.  There's an
increase in the level of antineutrinos.  There also seems to be some
sort of photometric disturbance."

"Can you pinpoint the source of the disturbance?"

"No, there's too much baryonic interference."

"Chief," he said, addressing O'Brien, "can you compensate?"

"Already trying, sir.  Wait a minute.  I'm getting an increase in
tachyon emissions."

"Confirmed," said Dax, "Something's happening inside the wormhole."

Suddenly, the whole station began shaking.


End Part 7.5

--

Hunt for a Cure (8a/10)
by Angus C. Devereaux and Elisa P. Black


Several tense moments passed before O'Brien managed to get the
inertial dampers to compensate for the shaking.

"What happened, Chief?" Sisko asked after Jenny climbed off his back.

"Those rising antineutrinos seemed to have collided with the barion
particles and distorted subspace but I don't think that was what
caused the shaking."

Dax said, "I agree.  That increase in tachyon emissions indicate that
something came through the wormhole.  Something big."

"Something the wormhole didn't like very much," concluded Sisko.

"Exactly."

At that moment, Jenny exclaimed, "Cool!"

All eyes turned to the main viewscreen as the wormhole 'yawned' in
all of its glory.  After which it spat something out and closed up
again.  It was a weird looking vessel, unlike any ship design known to
exist so far.

Dax confirmed this fact by checking StarFleet records.  "There's no
ship with that design."

Sisko ordered, "Try hailing it, all subspace frequencies."

The console in front of Dax beeped.  "I have a response, sir."

"On screen."

Every person in the room turned their attention to the main
viewscreen. Staring back at them from the screen was the Ancient.

"Huh?" said Peter, "How'd you get there?"

"I am right here," said the Ancient, who was standing behind Pete.

"Then who is he?"

"I do not know."

Sisko stepped forward, "I am Commander Sisko of the Federation
starbase Deep Space Nine."

"I am Rock Solid."

There were a few snickers and muffled gasps as Sisko asked, "Excuse
me?"

"That is my name: Rock Solid."

Pete asked, "Why do you look like the Ancient?"

"Because he is one of us."

"The Ancient looked surprised, "I am?"

"Yes, you left when you were a little baby.  Go back in your mind and
you will see."

The Ancient immediately sat down on the floor in a lotus position and
mumbled a few words.  He happened to be directly behind Dax at her
console. (Coincidence?  I think not.)

After a few moments, he opened his eyes and smiled, probably because
he was getting a great view of the lovely behind of Jadzia Dax, but he
said, "Ahh, I remember now.  I had no idea I was that old."

"And just how old are you?" inquired LaCroix.

"How old are you?" the Ancient asked in return.

LaCroix smiled proudly.  "Approximately 2000 years."

The Ancient looked shocked, "So young?"

"What do you mean, young?"

"I am at least 2000! years old."

"2000!?"

**(For those of you who aren't mathematically inclined, 2000! means
2000 factorial, which is 2000 times 1999 times 1998 times 1997 and so
on down to one.  Multiply all that and you get a really, really,
really big number.) **

"I think."

"Ah-ha!  You think??"

Rock Solid said, "He is approximately correct.  I am his twin
brother."

"What?" said several people in unison.


End Part 8a

--

Hunt for a Cure (8b/10)
by Angus C. Devereaux and Elisa P. Black


"Yes, I was chosen to stay behind to protect the secrets of my people
and he was chosen to be sent out to help other galaxies and
universes."

"He has indeed been a big help.  I've learned from the best," said
Caine.

The Ancient turned to him, "You are still learning."  He turned to
Pete, "And so are you."

"This is all very interesting," said LaCroix, "but what are these
secrets?"

"If I told you, they wouldn't be secrets anymore, now would they?
Well, you all know one of our secrets already."  Rock Solid pointed
back at the space behind him.

"The wormhole?" asked Dax, "You built the wormhole?"

"Not personally, but yes, the wormhole is one of my people's greatest
achievements."

"Why was it shaking?" asked O'Brien.

"It was glad to see us.  We haven't come through this way for a long
time."

"Why have you come here now?" Sisko inquired.

"We came here to meet Nicholas and I felt my brother's presence."

The Ancient said, "I've been feeling this presence inside me for
quite some time.  I just thought it was either a part of me or gas.
Now I know."

Rock Solid smiled, "Yes, we have a lot of catching up to do.  I
invite all of you to come join us in returning to our planet."

The group agreed.  Rock Solid said, "Great!"  He then addressed
Sisko, "My people wish to join the United Federation of Planets and
StarFleet."

Sisko replied, "I'm sure the Federation would love to have you join.
I'll personally come along to delegate the proceedings."

Rock Solid said, "Excellent."  Then he looked confused for a moment.
His face cleared and he said, "Oh. I believe this is for you,
Virgil." Virgil looked confused and then said, "Oh.  Yes.  Come,
Mighty One, Earth needs our help once again."

Mighty Max said, "Well, here I go again to save the world.  Coming,
Norman?"

Norman looked up from staring at Dax, "Oh.  Right.  I was just
admiring the view."

The three left through a portal which O'Brien concluded was a
temporal distortion in subspace brought on by the antitachyons
emanating from the Mighty One's cap.

The rest of the group beamed aboard the ship while Sisko gave out a
few commands.  "Dax, O'Brien, you're with me.  Kira, you're in charge
of the station until I get back."

After contacting StarFleet headquarters, Sisko, Dax, and O'Brien
transported to the ship, which then went through the wormhole and
traveled for 10 light years before coming to another wormhole, this
one leading to the planet.  The group was transported to the surface
where Schanke asked, "Are there any restaurants around here?  I'm
starved."

Rock Solid answered, "Certainly.  You like souvlaki, right?"

"Yeah."

"There's a restaurant just around the corner."

The Schankes headed for the restaurant and the DS9 trio headed for
the Embassy of Intergalactical Affairs.  The rest of the group headed
for the center of town to continue the hunt.


End Part 8b

--

Hunt for a Cure (9/10)
by Angus C. Devereaux and Elisa P. Black


"Oh Mylanta!  I played here when I was a little baby!  It is the lost
city of Atlantis!"

The others looked at the boring landscape and thought he was crazy.

"Toootally Raaad Dude!  All the pretty colors!  Heh!  Heh!" LaCroix
snorted with a silly grin, suddenly seeing a different place.

"I saw somewhere that the lost treasure of Atlantis is knowledge, but
I didn't think it'd be this far out!" Peter's grin matched LaCroix's.

The Ancient swayed a little in the cloud of white dust rising around
them and grinned viciously.  "Yes, bloody mahvalous these psychedelic
drugs are!"

In fast forward, LaCroix skipped away and swayed from side to side as
he sang out, "Follow the yellow brick road, Follow the yellow brick
road, Follow, Follow, Follow, Follow, Follow the yellow brick road!"

Nick was in the utmost denial, "No, I am not affected.  I am NOT
affected."

Nat hit him with her purse.  "Chill, man!"

Caine made a peace sign.  "Peace!"

"You make a great hippy with that hair, Pop." Peter staggered forward
to examine the solid stone temple door and saw Big Bird in a scanty
woman's bikini.

"Ooo, Lemme open it!!"  LaCroix called, shooting back like a rocket.
"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!" he sand in a sweet soprano.

The planet was knocked out of orbit by his impact into the temple.
He was knocked out with a flattop head while the temple remained
undamaged. Everyone grimaced in sympathy and Janette commented, "That
was almost as bad as that hunk of a Superman hitting the asteroid."

Then her eyes suddenly widened and she pulled out a drum from the
idea bubble which appeared above her head.  "Let's do poetry!"

"Me first!  Me first!" cried Caine.  She beat a sultry tune on the
drum and he began.

"You put your right hand in, You put your right hand out, You put
your right hand in and you shake it all about, You do the hokey pokey
and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about!"

Everyone except LaCroix clapped solemnly.  "That was deep, man."

"But what about da next clue!" wailed Nick like a baby.

"Don't you have any sense of appreciation, man? That was the next
clue," replied Nat.  She approached the temple door and yelled,
"Hokey Pokey!"

The ground opened up underneath their feet and they plunged into
darkness.  As they fell, Janette yelled, "Everybody!  You put your
right hand in, You put your right hand out ..."

LaCroix decided he'd rather samba with a skeleton he found along the
way.

Nick, Nat, Janette, Pete, Caine and the Ancient landed safely on a
well-lit bed of steaming rice.  They heard a yelp come from somewhere
deep in the shadows.  Moments later, LaCroix bounced into view with
cactus needles stuck in his face, making him look like Pinhead and a
big Joker smile on his face.  Everyone screamed, including the
narrators of this story.  He shook himself and returned to normal.
<Whew!> But he was still flat-topped.

"Ah, it is like a sauna in here," cried the Ancient, who was
stripping to his underclothes.  There were a few wolf whistles and
then everyone followed his example.

The sweat on Nick's undershirt spelled out the next clue, "Chow down,
chowhounds!  Stir-fry's to the left, oil-boiled bones to the right."

By general consensus, everyone waded to the left except for the
daring LaCroix.  Soon they came upon a rather large pile of French
fries.

"Aw, where's the stir fry?" whined Nat.

"Here's an idea.  What if the clue didn't mean 'stir fry' but 'stir
fries' to the left?" suggested Nick.

Janette and Natalie exchanged glances and the former spoke, "Uh,
Nicola, you are our favorite brick, but that's about all you are."

Nat nodded matter-of-factly.

"No, wait a minute.  It's so crazy, it might work!  Let's give it a
try. Everybody dig in!"  Pete grinned at the hot, crunchy cheese
fries.

They all dived in.  Soon they all had their fills and found a
trapdoor in the floor.  Just as Caine was about to descend, LaCroix
rejoined them, nice and pink and shiny all over.

"What happened to you?" asked Janette.

LaCroix grumbled, "I was walking along and fell into a vat of boiling
oil with some old skeletons."  Then brightening, "Lemme go first!"
He jumped past Caine.  "Cowabunga!"

They heard all types of whistles, a howl, and after a long time, a
thump. Caine shook his head sadly, "He should have used the chow mein
pole.  The clue did say 'chow down'".

One by one, they slid down the pole and found LaCroix splayed out and
full of arrows.  The air smelled strongly of garlic and the other
vampires cringed.  There was a small boat with sails sitting on the
river in front of them.

Nat pulled out the arrows and LaCroix sprung up.  A spear came out of
nowhere, picked him up so that he was sitting on it, and stuck itself
into the mast of the boat.  The others then piled in and they set off.

"I'm sailing!" cried LaCroix gleefully.

Nat found 6 pairs of oars and passed them out. "Row, row, row your
boat, gently down the stream..."

Peter picked it up, "Merrily, merrily,merrily, merrily, life is but a
dream."

Tons of cereal poured down on them and the water they sailed upon
turned to milk.  Nat and Pete shouted with glee, "Life!"

They reached over to grab some.

"No!" cried Caine. "Life is but a *dream*!"

They pouted.  "Can't we taste it, anyway?"

LaCroix interrupted, "Arrrabian ni-ights, like Arrrabian da-ays!
More of them than not, and hotter than hot, in a lot of good waays!"

As he sang, some cereal rained into his mouth and he crunched
happily. Then his eyes bugged out and he turned bright red, shooting
upward into the air. "Ah-yeeiiii!!!!"

He fell into the river and slurped noisily at the milk.  Everyone
laughed at him and he laughed too, squirting milk out of his nose.

Nat and Pete went back to glaring at Caine.  "We wanted a spark out
of Life, too."

Caine shook his head. "Never mind. We must go on.  Look."

They were surrounded by a freezing cold night desert.  A flying
rectangular object approached them.  LaCroix looked up and sang out:

"Hop a carpet and fly to another Arabian night!"

The object became a pretty blue and purple Arabian carpet which
saluted them smartly and allowed them to climb on.  It flew straight
ahead as dawn approached.

"Faster, faster," urged Janette, fearful that the sun would truly
rise before they reached shelter.

Ahead lay a big sitting cat made of metal.  As they watched, one paw
lifted, uncovering darkness.  The vampires sighed in relief.  A
strange monstrously high-tech vehicle shot out of that darkness and
the cat's head turned towards them, eyes glowing red.

LaCroix growled at it.  Inside, Wily Kit and Wily Kat exchanged
puzzled glances.  The carpet shot past the cat.

"No!" shouted the vampires as the sun rose.  They struggled
desperately but couldn't seem to move.  But they didn't burn.  They
breathed a sigh of relief.

The carpet let them off in a town square surrounded by miniature
houses. All of a sudden, little blue people poured into the square.
The oldest one, who had a white mustache and beard, climbed up on the
stage and spoke into the mike.

"Hello, strangers," he addressed them, "We're the Smurfs.  I'm the
leader here --my name's Papa Smurf-- and we know you're here on a
quest. We'd like to offer you all a bit of hospitality before you go
on."

They were given big Smurf pots --for them, pretty much teacups-- of
lemonade and invited to square dance.  Nat paired up with Nick --to
Smurfette's dislike-- Janette paired up with the virile Ancient,
Caine paired up with a gorgeous supermodel he pulled from his higher
consciousness, and Smurfette ignored the pleading, milk-rancid
LaCroix for Pete.  LaCroix fell asleep and dreamed of dancing with
someone gorgeous (we had to give him something)... who later turned
out to be King Kong.

Papa Smurf sang from the stage, "Grab your girl and swing her 'round,
Let that cure you seek be found, Come together and do-si-do, Look for
the lady with the big fat crow, Step, step to the March of Dimes, In
charity true, your love will find, What you have been lookin' for so
long, And when you're done, you hit the gong, Now off you go and take
your friend, Right down the road, don't come back again."  He glared
at LaCroix, who in his sleep was trying to escape his dance partner by
climbing the highest building in the village... and crushing it.

Smurfette kissed Pete, Caine shrunk his supermodel as a gift to the
Smurfs so they would have more females, Nick happily slapped LaCroix
awake, and they were off.  Soon they came upon an old hag who was
using a big, fat crow to deepen the crow's feet at the corners of her
eyes.  She looked up as they approached.

"Y'all marching?" she croaked.

Their pockets were suddenly full of dimes. They all gave her their
dimes except LaCroix, who was counting eagerly.  At their glances, he
gave in.

"Thank ye.  Thank ye very much."  She shoved them down a water slide.

"WHEEEE!!!!!"


End Part 9

--

Hunt for a Cure (10/10)
by A. C. Devereaux and Elisa P. Black


There was something strange up ahead.  The water ended abruptly,
outlined by a bright, cheery, cloudless sky.....

"Aieeeeeee!!!!!!!!"  They all screamed like little girls as they
plunged through empty air towards a madly rushing river at the feet
of a Tyrannasaurus Rex.  It grinned savagely and lowered its head
towards them, the long sharp teeth gleaming...

"Thank you for visiting Jurassic Park. Please come again."  The
dinosaur spoke in a pleasant female voice.  They sighed in relief.
It ate them.

As they slid down a long, dark, dank, slimy tunnel, the earth shook.
Since they were relieved to be still alive, they didn't care.  There
were voices up ahead, and soon they fell into a wider space with some
more people. A scruffy, well-built guy in a yellow and black costume
growled at them.

"Who're you?"  Long metallic claws slid out from the backs of his
hands. LaCroix smirked.  The other guy attacked.

"Logan!" remonstrated a majestic dark-skinned lady with flowing white
hair and outfit.

Logan stepped back from the battered LaCroix and growled once more.
LaCroix flinched.  Logan was satisfied and backed down.

"I am Storm of the X-Men," spoke the lady, "And this is Wolverine.
Since we are inside the dinosaur's digestive system, I suggest we get
out quickly before it decides to take another step in digesting."

When introductions were done, they started the long journey back up.
After a while, they heard a rumbling from above.  Soon a giant
meatball rolled into view.  They dropped down.  It followed.
Wolverine dug a hiding place to the side.  They jumped in.  The
meatball rolled past. Then came the long strands of spaghetti covered
with cheese.  When all was clear, they got out of the dino to see a
huge empty plate and another one with...

"On top of spaghetti, All covered with cheese, I lost my poor
meatball," sang the Ancient in a hearty Italian baritone. "When..."

The dinosaur sneezed and a meatball rolled away.  "Follow that
meatball!" yelled Caine.

"It rolled off the table, And onto the floor, And then my poor
meatball, Rolled out of the door..."

They followed.

"It rolled in the garden, And under a bush, And then my poor
meatball, Turned into mush..."

They caught their breath.

"And early next summer, It turned into a tree..."

They climbed into the clouds, where they saw a big castle.  A giant
opened the door and strode out.

"Fe, fi, fo, fum, I smell the ..." <sniff! sniff!> <wrinkles nose> "I
smell rancid milk and staleness."  He looked distastefully at
LaCroix. "Eww!" He dived off.

A shrill alarm rang.  They slid down a fireman's pole.  A red-haired
lady handed a slip of paper to Nick. "Poltergeist and magic cure
downstairs," she drawled in a nasally voice.

They races down and found a room of gray stone lined with shelves of
glass jars.  Janette and Natalie looked about in awe, each hoping to
be the one to find the cure.  Nick bit his nails and Peter, Caine, and
the Ancient meditated.  LaCroix felt as if he had a terrible hangover
and got the feeling that there was something wrong in all this...

Janette loved Nick.  She wanted to be with him.  No one else could
satisfy her.  As she searched frantically, she realized that if she
were the one, she would also have to be mortal again.  She came up
with something which looked like chicken soup.

Nick drank some with distaste.  Nothing happened.  The Ancient and
Caine shook their heads.  Janette went back to searching.

Natalie tingled with excitement.  Here among all these jars was a
cure for Nick!  And also a lot of other medical miracles.  She felt
overwhelmed with the possibilities around her.  But Nick came first.
Nick's happiness with whomever he was destined for.  She came up with
something which looked like blood.

Nick drank it.  A delicious blood.  He'd never tasted anything like
it before.  He coughed once and turned into a big, shaggy dog.  Nat
went back to searching.

The dog reminded her of a movie she'd watched called 'The Shaggy
Dog'. She found a ring and handed it to Nick, who was by this time
eating something Janette had given him which looked suspiciously like
a MilkBone. As they waited for him to finish the bone, LaCroix
whined, "You know, I always wanted a doggy but Divia wouldn't let me
have one."

Nick read off the words on the ring and turned back into human form.
Not how it was in the movie, but oh well.  They all stared at Caine
and the Ancient.

They nodded.

"We did it!" Nick grabbed Nat and swung her around.

Nat, over sensible, said, "We have to test it."

LaCroix finally realized, "NOOO!!"

He jumped around like a petulant child and accidentally hit
something.  A jar tipped over and garlic fell down.  He backed away
and cried like a baby on Janette's shoulder.

Nick smelled something wonderful and realized it was the jar of
chicken soup.  He devoured it, then advanced on the garlic. Yum!  But
he needed some water.  The Ancient handed him the vial of holy water.
Ahh!!

"We have to ring the gong," said Pete.

The Ancient smiled and waved his arm at the gong which appeared by
his side.  It rang and vibrated the room.

"Oohhmmmmm," murmured Pete, Caine, and the Ancient.

An omniscient voice boomed from everywhere, "The Final Jeopardy
answer is: Showing a woman how much you love her."

Everyone watched Nick in anticipation as the music played.  He
smiled.

"What is what does a woman want most?"

"That is correct," replied Alex. "Now let's see how much you wagered.
Your life and soul.  That brings your total up to ...  FREEDOM!!"

They found themselves standing by a gorgeous waterfall under a
twilight sky with the Schankes.

Just about everyone was ecstatic.

***

Nat had never been so happy.  Especially when Nick took a gorgeous
diamond and sapphire ring out of his pocket and proposed to her.  He
knelt before her and looked up with that cute, devilish grin; how
could she resist?

The Ancient joined LaCroix in crying.


The End